Stop there.

Tired of being the one that binds it all, the peacemaker. In the end, that cheesy fact is still correct. Perhaps I could loosen my grip and let everything else fall, and through the ruins of another, finally see something good surface. Responsibilty? I wonder what other barriers are stopping me. Those acting bravely a silent, desperate part, humble, but yet broken. Those going strong, confident, but yet broken, too. With much complexity, I'm wondering what can be done to untangle these knots. It's like playing human knots with the Sec 3 Committee, we try and try, but yet somehow find fun in it. Even though we eventually failed, we think back and remember how much we've laughed together. But no, I want these knots untangled, it cannot fail, because it failed too many times. Tired of being a disappointment, of being a letdown. I'm tired of realising that I'm not practicing what I've preached. There's so much to catch up now. I'm trying, believe me, I'm trying. I hate it that sometimes I just sit in front of the piano and move my fingers blindly, without any meaning or aim. "Play music, not notes," but my mind just drifts off, I'm not into the music at all. My span of concentration seems to get shorter and I get distracted too easily, way too easily. Oh well.

I'm gonna get my hair trimmed tomorrow.

Watching Cirque du Soleil on youtube makes everything feel better. I love arts from the french. It's fresh. Rather brilliant.